A long time ago (March of 1995), some silly little game featuring some silly little boy with bright orange DBZ hair was released for the SNES. It was a highly unremarkable game, except the combat system was really good, the story was one of the best in video game history, and everything about it generally kicked so much ass that the pope declared it the end of video games because nothing could beat it ever. So soon people were like "I wonder if we can beat it with itself..." and that same silly little game was released on the Nintendo DS. Ladies and germs... and Quinn, I give you, Chrono Trigger.

What can be said about Chrono Trigger that has never been said before? Can I say its the best RPG to grace the SNES? Just because I liked Super Mario RPG more (barely), means nothing. Can I say it heals the lepers? No, that's Jesus. Can I say it cures cancer? Oh wait, I can. Because it does. It's that good.

Our protagonist, Crono, wakes up on the day of the Millennial Faire, and goes to it. There he meets a girl with a pretty little pendant, ends up in the year 600, meets a talking frog, beats the living crap out of an evil shapeshifter, rescues the queen, and it only gets weirder. As with many other RPGs, you gather your party as the game progresses. As with no other RPGs, you travel through time and space, ranging from the year 65,000,000 BC to 2300 AD, collect the oddest party seen yet, and play through the greatest storyline since forever. Well, anything with a bipedal frog, a robot, a princess, a cavewoman, and an inventor has to be awesome. You have to save the world in multiple different timelines, and when you complete something in one timeline, it can drastically alter future times. For example, if you help a woman named Fiona grow a forest in the Middle Ages, in your time (the present), the landscape becomes forested heavily. And somehow paradox free.

The story is great, but I can't just rave on constantly about that. So let's switch to... gameplay. Its still quasi-turn-based, but enemies keep moving and attacking whether or not you do. There are no "random" fights like in Pokemon or Final Fantasy, you can pull off epic moves. Like Napalm. A girl from 1000 AD, a place where they mostly use swords, has invented robots and guns, a flamethrower, and freaking NAPALM.

And the characters are amazing. Even the robot has a personality. Every character is distinct and fresh, even though this game has been out for about 14 years.

Of course, the age does show. The graphics have received no update, which is both a good and bad thing. Its good because it shows that nothing really needs to be changed from an SNES game to keep it good. Of course, the bad part is that these graphics are, you know, SNES quality. I love the game, but if they could have at least brightened it a bit. But who am I to complain? They've actually put in drawn cutscenes for some of them. And they are BADASS! Frog chops a mountain in half, Ayla beats the snot out of at least 12 dino-humans, and I can't go on or the spoiler police will find me.

But now the bad parts... wait, bad? In Chrono Trigger? Does not compute, does not compu-

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